You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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