Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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