Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
