idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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