operation harelip BJ is a go
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
