Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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