I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
