you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
