Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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