I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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