let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You're like the curious george of whores
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
