Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
