I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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