do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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