walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
