she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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