Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
