awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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