I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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