I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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