Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
