Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize