It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Too much gin, very little bucket
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
