Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
