was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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