Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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