Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What a dumb baby whore.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We need to feng shui this bitch.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
