if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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