I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
