I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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