Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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