sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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