two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
cat food counts as protein by the way
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
