i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
