I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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