I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
