so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
