i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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