You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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