Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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