come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We are all done wearing pants today
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
