there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize