You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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