someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize