I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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