you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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