This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
