Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
