its not stalking. its research.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
