I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
