that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
