I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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