Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
