it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
