you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
