You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
