Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
