Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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