I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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