Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
