Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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